Beta

I began testing on either Tuesday or Wednesday (I'm not even sure which any more) and they were negative, although I swore when I held them up to the light at a certain angle and crossed my eyes, that there was a faint line. I had zero symtoms, other than tearing up while watching that little girl sing on America's Got Talent, and then falling asleep around 7:30 the next night.

But then something shocking happened. On Thursday, I got a faint BFP. And I would ordinarily be over the moon excited, except that I've been down this road before, and I don't like how the story ends. So I didn't even mention it to Greg. Instead I waited to see what would happen on Friday. Well all 5 BFPs on Friday were just as faint as those the day before. They didn't appear to be getting any darker. So I was positive at this point that the news was going to be bad. But I called and scheduled a blood test for Sat. anyway. I decided that I would tell him on Saturday afternoon if the results were higher than 50, and if not, I would wait until after my repeat beta on Monday. I guess I was afraid to tell him for fear of getting excited myself. When the Dr. called on Sat. afternoon I thought it had to be bad news. I was expecting a call from the nurse, and in my experience, it isn't good news when the Dr. personally calls himself. But then he gave me the greatest news possible: 189. It was better than I could have imagined, but I am still trying hard not to get too excited. No doubt I will certainly breathe easier this afternoon if my numbers have doubled, but I don't think I will truly be convinced that I am pregnant until I see a baby in my uterus, with a heartbeat.

So, there it is. That's my big news. Stay tuned for the results, good, bad, or ugly.